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Sunrise or Hope

sunrise

He smiled as she said her name again, she was such a beauty and her innocence was what made him so drawn to her. Yet he felt he was doing something wrong. Segun lost his wife 2 years ago and he wasn’t sure he should have a love interest so soon.

She smiled as he looked at her with his dreamy eyes, she wondered what he was thinking about. She was happy because she had met someone who didn’t want anything else but just know her and of course,” stare”… hahaha… she laughed. It had been 3 years she hadn’t dated , not because of betrayal or anything of that sort. She was saving herself for the best, “The One” as she heard her married friends say.. Suddenly she looked at Segun, he was handsome but of age.  She guessed he was in his late 40’s and wondered what was his story. She could tell sadness behind those eyes but she hoped she would help ,ease the pain and make him feel alive again… She wanted to save him because she needed saving too… However she was a little hesitant;would he accept her and her story if he knew?

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Desire

He lay awake with thoughts of her as he heard ” Adele’s Hello”

How apt the song was of his present situation with Agatha

It had been so long he cried , he really missed her stress

He wondered how she was and decided to call but changed his mind

He hurt her so bad; she didn’t deserve him, he said to himself

No-one did, he simply wasn’t deserving of a girl like Agatha

Agatha looked out the window and sighed..It’s been long since she heard from Nonso

Oh Nonso , ” the one that got away” … His boyish charms made him so sexy.

Memories of their times together kept flashing back

It was that time of the year when she reflected on her relationships

It was that time of the year ,she would miss him and do nothing about it.. then ” Adele Hello” played.. she smiled

How apt the song was.. the only thing is he did call a thousand times but she couldn’t forgive him and she knew it was late

Time was moving too fast for them..

Or is it?

Twinkle Twinkle

426685_424082927627752_700825732_nAmara seemed to forget constantly that she was beautiful.  She knew she was but pain had made her self-doubt and she began to lose herself. It had been 5 years, 3 days, and 21 minutes since he walked out the door and yet, she couldn’t move on. She was not only mad at herself but wondered how stupid she could be. She used to laugh out loud when she watched those Spanish movies and the two lovers would cry and part and wish they could die together.. little did she know she too would fall so madly in love and get heartbroken as well.

TJ sat there lamenting about how he hurt Amara but didn’t have the guts to see her again. He walked out on her in the most unkind way. He knew what he did was wrong but pride won’t let him talk to her. There were days he would pick up the phone and try to call but he would give up. Their love was real.. it was intense.. she was going to be the mother of his kids, they were going to live on a farm when he retired… they were going to be happy. Then what went wrong? He just couldn’t remember , all he knew was she got him so mad and he walked away and said he would never go back and didn’t . However, thoughts of her had crossed his mind recently. He had dated several women but none like Amara.. No one got him so focused.. No one could challenge him, no one loved like that and no one believed in his dreams like she did… no one was as generous… no one.. gosh , he knew he messed up but one thing he also remembered was her temper and stubbornness… that he couldn’t stand and then he laughed… He wondered how she was doing… Was she married now?

Amara told her herself, Tunde was good enough. He had been patient with her .. especially with her rules… No sex before marriage and they had been steady 6 months, but gosh …her heart did not beat when she was near him. She cried to God.. Was she just going to marry for marriage sake or remain an old maid when the one she loves didn’t want her? All she needed was a twinkle…

Unsure

Titi looked at him and had to tell him the truth. For so many years, she watched him hurt as he wondered why she could not love him ” I don’t know if I  love you, I hate sometimes, I want and take. I seldom give, I’m selfish. I wanted to take you for dinner some day and probably buy you a gift on your birthday and I wanted to do those special things but I’m often busy”.
Tope,I also felt we were not a good fit. You also got everything together, never needing my advice but I must tell you I stayed because you were generous, kind and the sex , made me feel good. You were the only one I could come to when I was down. The only one who gave me so much care and I could count on. This is hard for me to say but I didn’t love you because I am in love with another. I do not love you but have always been fond of you.”

He turned around and shook his head and said “why didn’t you tell me? I could have understood. Your silence, confusing words drove me crazy… You were neither hot nor cold. I also have something to say. Although I love you unconditionally, you were not my only lover.”  He told her thanks and walked away.

Tope couldn’t believe it. 7 years gone down the drain. All the good and bad times, she seems to have forgotten. He picked up a bottle of whisky, he hadn’t drunk in years, because she hated it. “Am I that forgettable?” I was her first and only true love. How can it be over now that things were ok for him financially? Now he could take her out and she wouldn’t have to spend a dime. He sobbed like a baby. Poured himself a drink and then realized he had to do something. Win her back.
How do I do that? He asked himself. When she can’t even stand the sight of me any longer. I remember the days, she just used to lie in my arms and I would whisper in her ears, how beautiful she is and she would say “you make me beautiful” and we would be lost in each other’s arms completely. Tope got up and smashed the bottle. What on earth went wrong? He yelled! He wouldn’t stop. Susan rushed in and looked at him puzzled. Susan began to tell him the truth about Titi, it was too late.
Titi was smiling and glad she got that off her chest. Months had gone by but thinking about it again, she also could not believe it that he was seeing someone. Gosh. They could have saved 7 years. She did love him,although she lied that she didn’t. She was in denial and deep down she couldn’t stop thinking about him but she just was confused as always ,marriage was forever and she was not the marrying type. Then she pondered, how was he doing? She was sure Susan had told him already the big secret, the main reason why she was cruel to him.Susan never liked her and worse now, she married her ex-boyfriend.

Gosh! She took a deep breath. How did she end up in this love triangle? Tope was supposed to be “the one”, she remembered the first kiss, the first look in his eyes, the first time, he said those three words, the fireworks, it was all so lovely until…..Hmm, she couldn’t place a finger to it. Until what? What was it? When did she fall in love with Tade, his best friend and Susan’s ex? Why did she choose him over Tope, her love of 7 years? Titi, suddenly realized she could have made a mistake, a tear dropped and then Tade walks in,” Hey gorgeous Mrs…” Why are you crying? Titi, was startled, hesitating, she said “I am happy”‘

Love Comes Softly

Matilda was pregnant again and she knew it was stupid. She told herself that the pills would work but just realized she had missed some days. Looking at the results,she was saddened by the thoughts of another abortion. She had to have an abortion because she was not sure if she was pregnant for Jack or Henry,there seemed to be no other way.

Matilda had been heartbroken several times by men who claimed to love her, so she had to wisen up. She was dating two good guys same time for about a year now and was hoping that one of the relationships would lead to marriage. Prior to her becoming a two timing girl, Matilda was a sweet girl with good morals. She did not believe in sex before marriage and was a regular church goer until she met Ben.

Just the mention of his name made her curse. She prayed daily God to pay him back for all the pain he had caused. He left her standing at the altar after dating for 2 years. He suddenly realized he was not happy in the relationship. According to the letter he wrote, it was not working but he did not know how to tell her. He also told her in had lost the feeling. He had met someone and hoped she would forgive him someday. He also wrote,she deserved better, she was a beautiful,caring girl who any man would be proud to have ,the only problem he had was, he just could not go all the way and he did not want to hurt her.

How ridiculous that was! Matilda wept for days,weeks,months and then decided to move on. Ben did come back by the way,claiming it was cold feet but by then ,she had met Jack and Henry ,so she told him off. She still loved him, had forgiven him but what hurt her was that he lied to her and was not man enough to tell her the truth ,she figured anytime he felt distant from her ,he would leave the marriage in the future. Matilta believes that love is a choice because it is beyond the feelings. The worst part is they never had any fights. Everything seemed perfect.

Matilda brought herself back to reality , what was she going to do now?

Jack was getting ready to go to work. He had fond thoughts for Matilda but he really did not love her. He thought about the best way to let her go. She was a nice girl after all and he did not want to hurt her ,especially as she had told him about her last experience. He did not want to put her through such pain again. As he sat there pondering,his phone rang. It was Matilda.. She sounded serious, she had to see him urgently. He was surprised. He just told her to come over.

Matilda hesitated as she told Jack ,she was pregnant. She did not know what to expect,so she just hoped, he would say something positive. Unfortunately that was not the case. He told her, he was not ready for a family. He was sorry but she should decide if she wanted to have the baby or get rid of it.

Crying her eyes out, Matilda left his house. She did not want another abortion. She wanted this baby desperately but she did not want to be a single parent. She blamed herself for being in this predicament and blamed Ben. If only they got married as planned,she would not have been here today.

Wiping her eyes she had to go meet Henry. She knew of the two,Henry was a better man. She knew he was, because he was always so kind ,attentive,very generous and supportive. And although he was rich, he had no airs.  As she got to his house, she found him and his secretary having sex. She froze. She had let herself in as always and she did not expect him to be home at 2pm. He tried to explain but she just ran away, leaving his house keys behind. Matida went home and locked herself in for several days and told her office,she had a family emergency.

She never heard from Jack again. Henry called several times but she did not pick up. She had to get rid of the pain and shame and accept she put herself in this situation. First she had to go to the hospital to do some tests. She had to be sure ,she had not contracted any STD and be sure the baby was fine.

As she walked into the hospital, she bumped into Ben. He looked at her and smiled, he was so glad to see her but all she could do was stare and the next thing she knew was she was on the hospital bed.  As she woke up Ben told her she was the woman in the world and congratulated her about her pregnancy. Matilda burst into tears and began telling him everything ,he was quiet all through.

As soon as she was done, Ben prayed for her and told her he was going to check on her the next day. She could not believe what was happening. Ben prayed for her and was coming the next day? Well she told herself she could not trust him besides, after all the love they shared ,he ran away,but Ben surprised her, he came back the next day as promised with lunch and they chatted for a long time. He began to tell her of how he had found God and had become a better person. He was not the Ben she knew that broke her heart. He apologized and begged her to forgive him and asked her to date him again. He promised that this time it would be different.

Matilda stared at him and could not believe her ears. She was pregnant and was not sure who the father was. Ben knew all that and was willing to date her again. She told herself it was a trick and perhaps his guilt was the reason he decided to date her or worse,he was dying. She was not going to be fooled a second time. She asked him to leave. He pleaded for her to give it a thought and kissed her on her forehead. She still could not believe it. Ben had become gentle. This was too good to be true.

Meanwhile Henry had come in person to ask for forgiveness, it was a moment of weakness. He was willing to marry her and all, he wanted her.  Matilda was getting confused because ,now she had to choose between Ben and Henry. On one hand Ben was the jerk who dumped her but was now a changed man and Henry was a man who cheated on her but then again ,she had cheated too. She took a deep breath and only could follow her heart.

Ben did not relent with his wooing her. Days went by and he was consistent. She did everything she could to push him away but all he did was show her love and compassion. He was patient and understanding. They prayed together, went to church together and she began to love herself again. She realized she had gotten into this self hate because she could not deal with the problem but focused of the person who hurt her, she felt free. She realised he was her hero, how ironic and she decided to let go of her pain.

Ben and Matilda fell in love again and this time it was stronger than the first time. They had worked on themselves, became grounded in God and when it was time for Matilda to give birth ,Ben was standing right there. Matida gave birth to a beautiful girl who Ben adopted immediately.

Love exists in so many ways..

My Man

My prince charming rides a car not a horse,hahahahaha.

An everyday man, going through the motions like everyone else.

My prince charming has a smile that warms my heart.

My man, is strong,tall,intelligent,successful ,has potential, smart,very good-looking and a good lover.

I admire his determination to succeed and his ambition.

I admire his accomplishments; he became his own man.

His vision ,I seek to accomplish. His values ,I seek to uphold.

My man, stoops to conquer. He may be a little arrogant sometimes but that’s because he knows his self-worth.

He rolls up his sleeves to get the job done.

My man is polite and courteous;sometimes I wonder why he needs to be that sweet. In my impatience I hurry him ,so we can go about our normal business.

My man knows how to pray,he studies the Bible and seeks to please God and when he strays ,like we all do from time to time, he finds his way back to his creator.

My man, is kind,sensitive, emotional, loving,caring and forgiving. His compassion and tenderness ,I cherish. Loves me even in his temperament.

My man is committed and faithful to me, does not have a wandering eye. Looks at me,like I am the only girl in the world.

My man admires me,tells me how beautiful I am,especially when I self-doubt or have gained a few pounds. When I ask,why don’t you mind my love handles? he says ” you are beautiful inside out”.

My man, loves my perfect imperfections, I would be lost without him.

He completes me and I complete him.

My man, my sweetie, my love.

Without you there would be no me.

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

Hope you are doing ok.

I need to be understood,so I decided to write you this letter ,so when we meet,you will know me and I know you.

I belong to you and you belong to me. Together we will be forever; my promise will I keep to you until my dying day.

I hope you will keep yours,please know that I do not believe in divorce.

I do not know how to be a wife; I have never been married but  I will learn .I expect you to teach me,nurture me and mould me to become the wife you want me to be. I only want to please you.

I only know who I am as a woman. I am strong but delicate, smart, filled with so many God-given talents to assist you to become the man God has intended you to be.

You are my head and I will respect your authority. I also expect you to respect my authority as your assistant, your co-captain.

My future husband ,please do not lead where I cannot follow ;women have a gift,our intuition. Listen to me even when it seems foolish and ask God to show you when you can’t.

My future husband,have authority over your head. Have God, your father,your mother,your uncle,a father figure that you are accountable to. We both don’t know what marriage is like,we will learn from God’s word and from the authority over your head.

My future husband, I will not always be sweet,obedient, and accommodating*me being honest .In these hard times ,I hope you show compassion and tenderness towards me. I probably am just going through stuff that I don’t know how to control. You know I love you and I am only human. Please be patient with me.

My future husband,please trust me with several tasks, don’t see me as a threat. I am only trying to make sure everything goes smoothly, it is my responsibility as much as it is yours. Don’t stress too much. Let me help you. Don’t let your ego get a hold of you. I know you are my provider and protector and me doing stuff for you or for us doesn’t take that away from you.

My future husband, my love,my sweetheart.. You are so kind. I believe you are. I need you to know that I admire you. You mean everything to me. Without you there would be no me. We are one. Never forget that.

My dear future husband,please ask me any question that comes to mind. I am ready to answer ,anytime ,any day. Your doubts,fears are safe with me. Together we will move mountains,make a difference in this generation. Nothing is impossible.

My future husband, don’t worry about our kids. They will be raised to fear the lord. Their path will be set as they are formed in the womb. Together we will train them in the way of the lord. They will be an example to their generation and be a legacy to the next.

My future husband,don’t worry,don’t fret about worldly riches. We will have wealth, most importantly,we will be rich in  our mind,body,spirit and soul. We will be good to all around us.

My future husband ,please let us not use worldly standards in our home. When we fight let the sun not go down in our anger. Let us resolve our issues. Let us forgive and let go. Let us talk about the issues and make actions toward those issues,so they don’t repeat,let us pray without ceasing together,alone especially when we are apart.

My future husband..my desire will always be for you and your desire will always be to dominate me. Don’t worry about that. I will be loyal to you forever when you appreciate me. I am God’s gift to you to be treasured and valued ,not your property. As long as you don’t mistreat me, I will flourish and be more than you ever wanted me to be. I will be the Proverbs 31 woman. I can only be that with your love. I am a reflection of your love.

My future husband,love me, love me unconditionally. When I am good ,especially when I am bad. Unconditional love is hard,I know. I assure I will love you unconditionally even if you don’t. My desire will always be for you. Our love is forever.

My future husband,I hope you can see that I respect you.  I will run with your vision and uphold your values. Please let your word be your bond.

My future husband, I forsake all my past and all others to cling unto you,cling unto me.

My future husband,pray for me, I pray for you always. When you find me be sure you have conviction, be sure it is me without doubts. I need you to be sure, I am the one you seek.

My dear future husband, this is where I drop my pen, I miss you ,please come find me,your favour is with me ” He who finds a wife obtains favour from the lord” . I await patiently for you because the woman is the glory of man. We need each other.

Love you and see you soon.

Yours forever,

Future wife.